Dear Journal.

It sure feels strange writing that. Master said I should write like I was talking to my best friend. How sad is that? My best friend is a empty book!

Master said I should focus on the word “Duty” today as I write. I’m eleven years old – what do I know about duty? Obedience – now that’s something I know about. When my mom or master tell me to do something, I do it.

Duty. Is it like responsibility? I’m responsible for taking care of Master’s pet ferret, even if Master doesn’t remind me. Is it my duty to take care of Jim? It doesn’t seem like it, it’s just my job.

Is it my obligation? My mother signed a contract and now I’m obligated to stay here and work for Master for ten years. Is it my duty to not run away and break my mothers obligation?

Maybe it’s keeping safe the things that Master has put me in charge of. Keeping Jim safe. Being careful with Master’s treasures when I clean them. Is it my duty to be careful?

Maybe duty is more of an inside thing. Maybe duty is more about why I do things. An I obedient because I’m afraid of being punished, or because I feel a sense of duty? I think I’m obedient because it’s the right thing to do.

When I’m responsible for something, or something has been put in my care, I feel a need to honor that responsibility or charge. It is not because I have to, or because I fear the consequences, it’s because if I don’t, it will be my honor that suffers –  my own self-worth.

I have duties, but more importantly I feel a sense of duty to do the things that have been given to me to do. If I have a sense of duty to do something, then how can I complain about doing it? If my honor demands that I do something, how can I do anything less that put my whole heart into the task?

Do I feel like I have duties or just jobs? Is what I’m doing important or just something no one else want’s to do? Am I proud of my work or am I just trying to get by?

Good question, Master. I don’t know the answer yet.